By most accounts, California Adventure is a $1.4 billion disaster, a victim of the recession that coincided with its February 2001 debut, the downturn in international tourism after the September 11 attacks and, most of all, the fact that everything about it is pretty dreadful. Though its central theme–lauding the great state of California–is perfectly commendable, the park is essentially a glorified state fair. Who wants to pay $45 bucks a pop to see crop-growing and a tortilla-making demonstration?
Nonetheless, I’ve been rooting for the ill-fated California Adventure since taking a hard-hat tour of the grounds several months before it opened. Still, with each new press event Disney has held since the park’s opening, one could almost envision the behind-the-scenes angst, as eager marketing teams desperately tried to reinvent the park. They’ve done everything they could to boost attendance, which has never come close to the projected 7 million patrons per year. Disney has appealed to baby boomers with summer rock concerts, nostalgia buffs with the return of the “Electrical Parade,” Latinos with Mariachi festivals and even soap opera buffs with appearances by ABC (owned by Disney) daytime stars.
Sunday’s media event, the opening of “Flik’s Fun Fair” in the new “A Bug’s Land” section of the park, was designed to appeal to “young children and their families.” Celebrities such as Melanie Griffith arrived on the “green carpet” with their progeny, and scurried to the five new kiddie rides, all of which were designed to give kids a “bug’s eye view” of the world. The train ride put kids on top of a caterpillar as it slithered through a variety of bug-digestibles, including a watermelon rind. A balloon ride called “Flik Flyers” took kids high in the air. The spinning ladybug ride was a lot like the famous spinning tea-cups–only you were sitting in a little insect.
Now, maybe it’s because I’m over two feet tall, but looking around, the bug’s eye view concept didn’t really deliver. What happened to the Disney ingenuity that for much of my youth had me believing I shrunk down to the size of a molecule each time I took that “Trip to Inner Space” ride? The new rides were about the same caliber of those you’d find at a traveling circus. They were all a little, well, cheap. In fact, that’s the problem with all of California Adventure. It’s all a little shoddy. And I wasn’t the only one who was disappointed. In short order, the celebrity kids started to whine and lose interest–and they got in for free! In my opinion, the Flik’s Fun Fair will probably not save California Adventure.
Worried that another Disney exec would lose his or her job over this bug fiasco, I looked around, trying to think of something nice to say about the new venture. But just then, something caught my eye: a woman wearing a bright red shirt with huge black letters that proclaimed, I LOVE MY GAY SISTER. Other women in red surrounded her. Behind them was a group of men, also clad in red.
My two media hosts, Nick and Sandy, who had heretofore stuck to me like glue, exchanged panicked looks as they saw me scanning the oncoming crowd. Everywhere I looked, there were red shirts proclaiming, GAY DAY 2002.
Nick quickly recited a memorized Disney spiel that downplayed the embarrassing confluence of the unofficial Gay Day and young-children-and-their-families day at Bug Land. “You may have noticed some people wearing red shirts with slogans on them,” he said. “Please understand that these folks aren’t here for any official Disney event. It’s a completely unofficial thing. The gay community just picks a day out of the year to come to the resort. It is totally extra-curricular.”
A little ways from there, I noticed that throngs of red-shirted men had gathered at the “Grizzly River Rapids” to brave the water ride together. Nick and Sandy cringed visibly when I ran off to speak with the revelers. “Bill,” a middle-aged man from the San Fernando Valley, was wringing out his socks after a soaking from the ride. His red shirt read, BEARS LA and had a picture of the Grizzly Mountain attraction on it. The Bears, he explained, are a “Gay Day subgroup.” From what I could tell, they are also a rather hirsute subgroup. All the Bears on the ride seemed to have beards, and from what I picked up, a fixation not only with the Grizzly River Rapids but with the “Country Bear Jamboree” attraction at Disneyland.
After trying unsuccessfully to steer me away from the red shirts, my media guides exchanged heated words under their breath. No doubt each blamed the other for letting me stray off the pre-arranged press program. But they needn’t have worried that I’d hear anti-Disney utterances. Throughout the park, groups of Gay Day attendees strolled around, enjoying themselves. Perhaps this wasn’t the crowd Disney would have liked as a backdrop for its new attraction of rides for little kids. But, then again, there were numerous gay parents there with their children. I asked countless red-shirted patrons if they’ve been hassled by security, or made to feel in any way unwelcome. All replied in the negative. By the end of the afternoon, my anxious media host, Nick, added a caveat to his oft-repeated “Gay Day” disclaimer. “They’re not here officially. But, of course, we welcome any guest willing to pay the admission price,” he observed.
As one thirty-ish man in red explained to me, “Gay Day started in Orlando, and we’re trying to expand the concept out here. But, this is Southern California, so us being here is not that big a deal.”
“Victor,” a twenty-something from the Long Beach area, went a bit further. “Why am I here? I come here every week. I have an annual pass, and most of my friends do as well.”
That’s when it hit me. I looked around, and saw folks in red shirts having more fun than the other patrons. Maybe Disney should, in keeping with the Bug’s World theme, turn over a new leaf. They can reinvent the park one more time to boost sagging attendance. Disney’s Gay California Adventure. Now, that’s got potential.
