Appearing at a Los Angeles-area charter school on Monday, California Democrats imported both Bill Clinton and “The West Wing’s” Martin Sheen to lend some star appeal to the famously wooden governor’s campaign against Republican Bill Simon. But the charisma transplant clearly didn’t take. Flanked by Clinton and Sheen, Davis dutifully rattled off his education achievements to a polite smattering of applause from the audience of African-American and Latino parents. Then Bill Clinton took the stage.

The audience began to whoop and cheer (and whip out their videocameras) as the former president implored them to support Davis and other Democrats against the GOP tide. “I love Bill,” enthused voter Sharon Daniel, who said she would vote for Davis–reluctantly. “It’s not that Gray Davis is the best candidate. It’s just that he’s the best candidate we have.”

With that typically faint praise, Davis is holding on to his 10-point lead over Simon in a race that has so far turned off California voters in droves. According to the Los Angeles Times, more than half of voters surveyed say they are “dissatisfied” with their choices. Neither Davis, a centrist Democrat who is widely blamed for mishandling California’s energy crisis last year, nor Simon, a conservative businessman running his first political campaign, have ignited much passion. And the mood of the Golden State is far from good: 52 percent of Californians say the state is on the “wrong track,” beset by economic woes and a failing public-education system. On top of that, only 42 percent of voters say they have a favorable impression of Davis.

These numbers would normally spell the end for any incumbent, except in this case, Simon is even more unpopular than Davis. Just 32 percent of those polled gave him a “favorable” rating. As a result, Californians are expected to stay home on Nov. 5: a recent survey predicted a voter turnout of 29 percent, the lowest in the state’s history. That’s bad news for “down-ticket” Democrats, as well as congressional candidates who count on high turnout to win in this overwhelmingly Democratic state. “Davis versus Simon is the most pathetic race I’ve seen,” says veteran Sacramento Bee columnist Dan Walters. “Here we are with the most populous, complicated state in the country in need of real political leadership, and what we end up with is Feckless versus Clueless.”

The biggest factor behind the voters’ apathy has been the unrelentingly negative campaign waged by both candidates. Even though voters say they want to hear about education, California’s faltering economy and the state’s record $23.6 billion deficit, they are getting precious little talk about policy. There are substantive differences between the candidates on education (Simon favors vouchers; Davis doesn’t), abortion (Davis is pro-choice; Simon is anti-abortion), gun control (Davis is in favor of some measures; Simon has been endorsed by the NRA), immigration, gay rights and several other major issues. But the one debate of the campaign–televised on a Monday at noon last month, and unseen by the majority of Californians–was notable only for the gaffe it produced. Simon waved a 10-year-old photo of Davis accepting a campaign contribution from a police group and demanded that Davis, who was then California’s lieutenant governor, admit to taking the money in the state Capitol, which would have made it illegal. Before long, the Davis campaign blasted back, producing the donor, who said the photo was taken in his house, not in the Capitol. After days of hemming and hawing, Simon was finally forced to acknowledge his “regret” over the false accusation that became known in the California press as “Photogate”–and promptly became grist for a Gray Davis television spot.

Davis, according to campaign-finance records, has spent some $30 million on television ads, most questioning Simon’s ethics as well as his positions on abortion and gun control. The toughest attacks came after the family investment firm that Simon ran with his late father, former Nixon Treasury secretary William E. Simon, was convicted of fraud last August by a Los Angeles jury. The plaintiff in the case was a former business partner, who, it turned out, was a convicted marijuana smuggler. Not exactly good timing for a GOP candidate while the White House was on anti-corporate-corruption campaign in the wake of Enron and other scandals perceived harmful to Republican candidates.

The judge overturned the verdict only weeks later, but by then the damage was done. The White House, which didn’t even support Simon in the GOP primary (Bush & Co. preferred former Los Angeles mayor Richard Riordan, a moderate) was furious that the campaign didn’t give a heads-up that bad news was on the way. News of the verdict spoiled a rare California campaign swing by George W. Bush, who offered only tepid support for the man who is supposed to help him reclaim California in 2004. That disdain is evident throughout the national GOP establishment. A few weeks ago, Rep. Thomas M. Davis III, the chairman of the National Republican Congressional Committee, sneered in a speech to the National Press Club that the Simon campaign was “the single worst-run race in the country.”

And Simon has proven no more able to shine in the presence of imported celebrities than Davis was this week with Bill Clinton. When Rudy Giuliani, for whom Simon briefly worked in the Manhattan U.S. Attorney’s office, made an appearance with Simon in San Francisco last month, the former New York mayor was mobbed by autograph seekers and fans shouting “Leadership,” the title of his new best seller. Meanwhile, Simon trailed in his wake, looking for hands to shake. Later, it was up to Giuliani to field questions about “Photogate” and scold reporters for ignoring the “issues” while Simon stood silently on the stage with him.

Simon, who started the campaign with gauzy ads featuring his handsome family, has long since taken off the gloves in his ads, calling Davis a “pay for play” governor and ridiculing his handling of last year’s state energy crisis. Both campaigns routinely bombard reporters–and voters–with e-mails detailing the other candidate’s calumny: Simon is “pathetic” and “malicious”; Davis is inevitably “unethical” and “reckless,” a “coin-operated” governor who shakes down supporters for campaign contributions. Even the candidate’s hired guns seemed disgusted by their own efforts. “There’s nothing in this campaign from start to finish that’s motivated voters to get involved in this election,” concedes Simon strategist and longtime GOP operative Ed Rollins. “We didn’t want to end the campaign this way, but here we are.”

At this point, the race is Davis’s to lose. Neither candidate has yet stumbled over the finish line, but already, the national pundits are openly longing for a California race with more star power. The favorite fantasy ticket for 2006: Republican (and movie star) Arnold Schwarzenegger versus Democrat (and Hollywood actor-director) Rob Reiner. They call it “Terminator vs. Meathead”–and for weary Californians, it beats “Feckless vs. Clueless” by a long shot.